MobilityWOD Super Nova
Let’s get a couple of things straight. First, it took us almost 18 months to figure out how to make this thing it’s so complicated. No wonder everyone was just making little balls with spikes. The Super Nova is the first of its kind, revolutionary. Your tissues are probably like wet grilled cheese sandwiches. Putting an Ice-pick into that mess won’t change anything. You have to shear those layers apart. Look, we didn’t invent the shear concept or grilled cheese, we just made it better. This thing is a one-way ticket to legitsville.
Second: We should have probably just called it the “Super” because this thing really is really super. Like really super. We too have grown tired of roto-tilling and steam rolling our hard working tissues. We needed a device that would allow us to create higher global shear pressures so that when we rolled, it actually made us better. So we made one.
Oh, and another thing. We work with actual athletes. Have you seen the quads and glutes of someone that actually squats? Look, you regularly ride those ponies hard and put them away wet. You are also probably an adult with a job and don’t have a million extra hours to spend “recovering” and “getting more awesome”. You need tools that are effective, and fast. And did I mention portable? Have you ever gone through security with a foam tube. You’d get flagged as a risk. Because obviously foam tubes are for children. You also need a tool that doesn’t get swallowed up in an office chair like a child’s lacrosse ball. You’re a CEO for crying out loud. Isn’t it time you started respecting your hamstrings?
If this ball had a motto it’d be "More shear, more better, more awesome."